* Blog *
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
- i muz sae tat i had a pretty gd life... had a dotin brother whom i looked up to... he was my role model... the one i KNEW who i can trust, rely on... he'll be the one who'll protect if i shld nid protection... though my parents r controlling even nw, i noe tat they love mi... mom's been givin mi more freedom... n toked to mi bout reasons n all... bt there're tings tat i still cant accept happening... dad dotes on mi... i luv him... n his soft toes...
i had the bestest fren... we'll mit up nt as often bt she'll mit mi when she can... nw she's too busy wif work, her bf n family to haf time for mi... i feel... too busy to reply to my msn n sms... the fren i knew i can call when i haf trouble... nw i feel i dun dare to bother her...
in the past, i dun nid a bf coz i haf my family n a grp of close frenz...
nw...
i feel so disheartened... feel so torn... like i've been the one contributin into all the relationship so much more than the others... nth's forever... nth will remain... everyting changes... when i hate for tis to happen, i cant do aniting frm preventin... i can onli accept... i dun like it... i hate it... bt i can onli accept tat itz goin to happen... coz itz nt my life... itz juz affectin my life...
i dun feel the "passion" to live... i dun wana die... i feel like i wana juz roam aimlessly... rot to death... i feel like i dun haf ani1 animore... i shld be like yong... nt to gif away too much in ani relationship... frenz or family... tat y i wun feel the way i'm feelin.. coz i din put much in...
i feel like i'm nt mi... i haf split personality... day vs nite... dark vs bright...
i duno animore...
i haf nth animore...
`aPriL WaS HeRe aT 11:48 PM
